i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
