P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
