so that wasnt chicken after all
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
