I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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