I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
