THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
