Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's the barista slut.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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