youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
