I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
