i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
