I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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