I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I will be naked everywhere
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
