ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
