Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
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