Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
