I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
what day is it and did you see me today?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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