I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
