every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
