Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
