Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
