My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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