HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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