Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
