I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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