So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
