He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
