im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
