I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
