She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
