She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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