is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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