i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize