People with herpes should wear stickers.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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