I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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