pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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