Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
