i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
