Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
