its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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