i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
