It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
