Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
