i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
