Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
