i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
