i think my tv is drunk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize