why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
