I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
