She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
