when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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