I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
