like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
