Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize