i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
