420 ftw
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
