Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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(440): View more from Ohio

so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"

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(586): View more from Michigan

you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.

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(937): View more from Ohio

i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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(619): View more from California

after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low

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(631): View more from New York

I ate you ate to the whole david gray album

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(805): View more from California

I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.

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