He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
