U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize