We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
