I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
