i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
