No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
