that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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